Local Jokey Syndrome: Do You have it??

 We’ve all seen it, interacted with someone who has it, or you might be the one walking around with a full-blown case of it right now. Either way, it’s spreading like juicy gossip between groups of drama queens who don’t actually have a life of their own.  Social networks have males and females sitting around acting like the 2012 Peggy Bundy.  Anyways, you’re probably thinking to yourself right about now “ I wish he would hurry up and get to the point” so I’m sorry for wasting your oh so important “Like Button” clicking time, Please forgive me.

What is a Local Joker? I don’t actually have a Webster definition of what it is but I’m pretty sure I can describe one to you. First of all a local joker usually does some sort of rap or hip hop music and is constantly using the term hater towards individuals when their music is critiqued not fond of their liking. They will only be making music because they look at it as a new hustle, and they lack the passion to actually sound relevant to more than their local area or regional counterparts. He or she will also think they’re the king or queen of their city or town without a creditable source giving them the title.  Their work ethic is usually sub par and they’re feeling themselves so much that they fail to realize that they may be the only one “actually” feeling them. Don’t forget to add the terrible Photoshop editing for flyers and webpages, I’m pretty sure there is many tutorials on YouTube that can more than likely give you an at least average look. Presentation is EVERYTHING, AT LEAST LOOK LIKE YOU’RE TRYING. They should of NEVER gave you people Photoshop (in my Dave Chappelle’s Rick James impersonation voice). So you’re probably like, “why would you not think highly of yourself?”  Well, no one said that you couldn’t have confidence in yourself, but c’mon man let’s be real. Can we please get a valid attempt?

I know I’m probably sounding like a dream killer right about now but some dreams shouldn’t be finished, kind of like the one where you’re falling but you wake up before you land. Who really wants to finish that dream? Everyone can’t do what they would like to do, if that was the case, we probably wouldn’t have any garbage men or fast food workers. No offense intended if this is your passion, but I’m just saying. So at what age should we start letting these local jokers know that you must work hard at your craft and make the correct connections to get what you want out of life? Children’s sports stop worrying about equal playing time at the middle school level because now skills play a part, and everyone doesn’t always land that great job straight out of college. So why not find a way to filter the local jokers out of the system before they mess it up for everyone else who actually has talent and are passionate about their career field of choice in that same geographically location?

It sucks that local joker syndrome will always exist and your small inner circle of friends and family will continue to condone it. Probably because no one actually knows when they’re a local joker, and humble people are hard to find like Waldo. When great things or people come out of certain areas, it opens doors for that area to provide more greatness. And a bad taste can mess up a meal for everyone. But, we all think that we’re great at what we do, or do we? Anyways, come here crab, if I don’t get out of this bucket, you never will either.

That is Rape I tell Ya, Rape!!

Well Well, here we go again, another entertainer has falling victim to “Divorce Rape” because he wasn’t equipped with the proper prenuptial agreement to protect his assets. I can only imagine the amount of gold diggers around the world participating in coordinated Jersey Shore style fist pumping celebrations congratulating their fellow digger Vanessa Bryant for literally pimp slapping future Hall of Fame basketball player Kobe Bryant with her BIG DIG of half of what “he” had. That’s right, I said it, what “he” had, not what she had. Now, I know I’ll probably receive all kinds of harsh thoughts and comments from the ladies of our world for what I’m about to say, but I’m prepared for this and most of them will probably realize what it is and won’t be upset with me by the time they take their initial shot to start their weekend, so here we go.

Rather you like it or not, it’s 2012 and all marriages need prenuptial agreements. Whoa now ladies, don’t bite my head off just yet, bare with me. Most people still get married because they love their significant other and that’s great, but the other ones get married because they like their significant other and love their assets. To defeat the asset love and insure that the love is genuine love, why not get an “AS IS” pre-nup? (don’t get scared now) Basically what an AS IS pre-nup is  “ We got together as is, and we’re separating as is”, kind of like when you buy a used car and the warranty has ran out, you get it as is.  Usually the person you decide to marry has probably been in a previous relationship before or vice versa, so we’re all pretty much used anyways. Now ladies I know you’re probably thinking right now that y’all put so much time or whatever into the relationship and blah blah blah, but let’s be real, to have a relationship there has to be a significant other that is also putting blah blah blah into the relationship. So, if this is your only argument, you may want to have that drink now and forget that you were ever mad and get your weekend started early.

So, with that being said, let me say that I don’t condone cheating and what Kobe Bryant did was wrong, but if you ask me the real mess up was getting married in California without getting a pre-nup. Then came cheating, but don’t mind me, my morals may be a little skewed. Anyways, $75 million and she never ran a suicide or shot a jump shot at practice? Three houses and one of them is the house that Kobe was suppose to be moving into as soon as the construction was finished? Sounds like Kobe is homeless at the moment if you ask me, and he shouldn’t be. This should have NEVER gone down like this. I know she is the mother of his children and did her part at whatever home they may have been at at the time whenever the maid was allowed a day off, but she doesn’t deserve  $75 million. And you better believe she’s going to go after some ridiculous amount for child support also, like Kobe wasn’t the one supporting the kids this whole time anyways, but let’s not get on outrageous amounts of child support at the moment, that’s a whole different dilemma.

So fellas, get your AS IS pre-nup (but don’t forget to take care of your lady while y’all are together) and ladies, if you happen to end up with a wealthy man, and he had his wealth before you got there and you didn’t assist with the majority he had to do to get to where he is financially, I suggest you continue to make your own money or play some sort of role with his business to make your own money, it’s only fair. You can think running off with something you didn’t work for is OK in “this” situation if you want to, but last time I checked stealing is wrong, and people go to jail EVERYWHERE for stealing no matter the situation.

As Is Pre Nups will cut down on a lot of divorce because people who don’t love each other will stop getting married (because there isn’t a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow) and people who love each other will stop getting divorce over little things that were probably fixable. If a split does occur both parents should take care of their children. And remember no one cares if you “think” you grew accustom to a certain lifestyle. People everywhere have to cut back and do less during financial hardship, so you should have to cut back and do less also, you losing the bread winner is YOUR financial hardship. If you call the marriage off you get to leave with JUST the money you’ve earned (or he wants to give) doing business/working with your significant other and saved.  

So say it with me, “it’s my money not yours, now do you still love me?” Ladies, I love you and you can take that shot now.

Kobe or Lebron (Kill or be Killed)

It seems as if the only thing that LeBron James and Kobe Bryant have in common is their soon to be just a faint memory head of hair. From LeBron’s low tide looking, I’m trying to savoir the moment by using my headband as a diversion fade away hairline; to Kobe’s crop circle that he tries to camouflage by telling his barber anything higher than a 1 cut against the grain is just uncivilized. So if it aint about hair, then the similarities just aint there. Oh yeah, there is one more thing they have in common, they’re both basketball players. I bet you didn’t know that.

Anyways, now we could sit here and talk numbers all day or we could get straight to pointing out the obvious. I’m thinking let’s go with the obvious because who really has a long enough attention span to read a blog when they’re so many other things to do like play Words With Friends, or see how many words you can spell incorrectly per Facebook post. (And then you wonder why you can’t get a job, probably because your Facebook is a running resume that Human Resources ACTUALLY looks at.) So yeah, straight to the point, Kobe Bryant kills in the fourth quarter and LeBron plays dead. LeBron makes statements like “I’m ok with the way we played, we played good Miami Heat basketball” after a lost, while Kobe makes statements like “ I hate ‘em” when it comes to playing against the opposition. I’m just saying, Kill or be Killed

Yes LeBron is more athletic and in his prime at a young 27, so why does Kobe Bryant have more kill than him during the downside of his career at an old 33? Maybe 30 is the new 20 and 27 is just 27. I could throw Dwyane Wade in the mix but then I might be considered a LeBron hater, and you know how you people who are oh so sensitive get with using the word hater.

I would like to give LeBron his props though, he’s hitting the block more, his jump shot looks good and he might have added a couple of more moves to his repertoire besides drive right because my left arm is in a sling. His triple threat is looking pretty good also, and pivoting to the spin is looking great. Now for Kobe, let’s just say whatever those doctors did to his knee has him looking like he’s 27 all over again. A lot slower but the moves are fantastic, minus the excessive turnovers.

Both players are in two totally different situations so you might argue that Kobe is only scoring like he is scoring because he has to and LeBron isn’t because he has Dwyane Wade and Christina (Chris) Bosh to help him score. Well, LeBron and Kobe are neck and neck when it comes to points per game so who said anything about scoring? This is kill or be killed. LeBron was brought over to do what LeBron does and if you’re a history buff, he’s doing exactly what he does, playing the radio when the 4^th quarter shows up. Where is Tim Tebow and his faith when you need them? Yes his numbers look great right now but give D-Wade (the killer on the team) the ball when it’s time to finish the opponent off. And give Kobe the ball whenever Kobe wants the ball no matter who team he is on. His bad shot is equivalent to most players’ best shot. But what do I know? I’m just a voice who knows nothing about basketball. So who do you think is a better all around basketball player, LeBron or Kobe and why? Kevin Durant and Derrick Rose I see you!!! (That had nothing to do with anything, but I see you!!!!)

Really? Blue Ivy?

What’s going on Hip-Hop heads and my avid basketball fans? Before you indulge yourself in your recorded TV shows from the night before and the overwhelming amount of email you’ve received today while doing your boss's dirty work for 8 plus hours, I would like to welcome you to The Skinny Truth. Yes, another blog site, but not JUST another blog site, it’s the blog where politically correct opinions are frowned upon like a lady asking her best friend if she can date her ex while she mourns from the break-up.  Here I’ll talk about, (cough) excuse me, we’ll discuss constantly on what’s new and interesting in the Hip Hop and Basketball culture exactly how we see it and why. You thought Charles Barkley was bad when it came to giving his honest opinion, wait until you start getting The Skinny Truths on what's really going on. So, if you wear your feelings on your sleeve and are afraid of written words, then you’re probably sitting at the wrong social table at the new school of educated hilarious trash talk. Don’t worry though, I’m a great person at heart, whatever that means?

So, just to get the juices flowing we’ll touch on rapper Jay-Z and singer Beyonce’s newborn baby girl. First, let me take a second and say congratulations on a new healthy child. Well, now that that is out of the way (good guy at heart), let’s get straight to the business. WHAT KIND OF NAME IS “BLUE IVY”? Who does this? Why would you do that? Yes, the name is very unique but unique isn’t always good. Let me first let you know that Jay Z is one of my all time favorite artists so you won’t think I’m bias about the situation. But great or not, that name isn’t sitting to well with me no matter how hard or what angle you come from to try and justify it. If one of us less fortunate middle class people dared to name one of our children something even similar to that, we’d be pretty much setting our child up for years of job application failure. Unless, they were applying to be some sort of plant/ ice cream/ yoga studio spokes person or manager, if that’s the case then this name fits perfect. Yes I know she will probably never have to work a traditional nine to five in her life, but that isn’t the point and never will be. Anyways, what do you think of the name and why?